The Victorian Governess: Educated, Respected… But Often Very Lonely

The Victorian Governess: Educated, Respected… But Often Very Lonely

Today I want to continue learning about Victorian servants, and this time I want to look at what life was like for the Victorian governess. Unlike the nursemaid, who cared mainly for younger children, the governess was responsible for a child’s education. She taught the children to read and write and gave lessons on history, geography, French, music, and of course proper manners. The role may seem comfortable compared with the harder physical labour of the other servants, and they were certainly treated with a great deal more respect but in reality it was often far more complicated.

The Victorian era placed enormous importance on class, and there are few roles that reflect that more clearly than the governess. Most governesses came from educated middle-class backgrounds. Many were the daughters of clergymen, military officers, or professional men who had fallen on hard times. Becoming a governess was one of the few respectable ways that an unmarried middle-class woman could earn a living. Unlike maids, cooks, or laundresses, she was not considered working class. But in spite of her education and good manners, she still worked for a wage, just like the other servants. Which meant she was not really part of the family either.

This left the governess in a difficult position. Compared to the other servants, she usually had certain privileges. She usually had her own bedroom, ate better food, and was not expected to do the heavy domestic work. The cook worked in hot kitchens, the laundry maid in the steam and heat, and the housemaid scrubbed floors and carried water. But in many ways, she carried an emotional burden rather than a physical one.

She lived in an awkward place in the household. She was usually considered higher than the servants, and many servants could resent this. But she was also not part of the family. She might teach the children all day, and then eat alone, and spend evenings isolated in her room. Some people described the governess as living between two worlds, not belonging fully to either one. That loneliness must have been painful.

Some governesses got really close with the children, almost becoming a second mother or mentor. Unfortunately others had to deal with unruly children whose parents expected perfection. Discipline could be difficult, especially when wealthy children knew their governess had very little power.

One famous example of a governess was Baroness Louise Lehzen, the much loved governess of Queen Victoria. Lehzen was, at one point, one of the most important people in Victoria’s life. She offered her stability, affection, and emotional support. Especially when Victoria’s mother and Sir John Conroy tried to control her. Victoria loved and trusted Lehzen completely, and for a time, that seemed unbreakable.

After Victoria was married to Prince Albert, problems developed. Albert disliked Lehzen’s influence over Victoria and believed she interfered too much. Eventually, Lehzen was dismissed from court and she returned to Germany. Victoria was understandably heartbroken. It is a clear reminder of how even the most devoted governesses could eventually be pushed to one side when they were no longer wanted.

The fear of being dismissed hung over many governesses. A governess could give years of her life to a family, helping to raise and educate the children, but once the children grew up or were sent away to school they could be dismissed. Unlike family members, her place was never secure. As they grew older finding a new position was far more difficult and without savings or relatives to support them, some were faced with poverty.

In 1841, the Governesses’ Benevolent Institution was set up in London to help governesses who had fallen on hard times. It gave financial support to women who were ill, elderly, or struggling to find work. The fact that this fund was needed shows just how uncertain life could be.

Governesses influenced future politicians, writers, nobles, and even monarchs. Their job helped to mould the next generation of Victorian society, even though they were often overlooked.

I think the Victorian governess represents one of the saddest contradictions of the era. She could be highly educated, refined, and very important in a household, but still feel invisible and alone.

Do you think being the governess was one of the loneliest roles in a Victorian household?